2002-03-16 - 2:19 p.m.

Well, Amber has to work late, meaning I can't go down to Los Angeles tonight, which means I have to drive down tomorrow, on top of the flight I'm going to take to Tucson.

That sucks. I was really looking forward to one bender, one sweet alcoholic haze to cap off Spring Vacation before I headed back out into the "Christians and Classes and Housemates, oh my!" world that college life has become. Just to experience the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster effect, the simulated effect of being hit with a small slice of lemon tied to a giant Gold Brick. Just to get slammed with someone I've known since Kindergarten.

Just, for one night... To forget.

I honestly don't know how much more of Christianity's embracing nature I can take. I honestly don't know how much more of Victor I can take. And I don't know how much larger a workload I can handle. But I have to.

I remember back in high school I thought, all I have to do is get out of Santa Barbara and everything will be golden. Some people I know still think that. But wherever we go, there's no such thing as a worry free life. All we can hope for is new challenges. New issues. More manageable, less repetitive, with just a hint of promise that you'll come out of the experience a better and happier person than the one who left that last slew of troubles back in that other town you left all those years ago.

Eventually, you realize you're not happy with your life right now. But that's okay. Because you're working towards something. Striving towards something. A goal, a light at the end of the rainbow, a tangible and realizable concept of a life you know you can have if you can only hold on long enough. Swimming pools. Spas. Kitchens larger than my current living room. Video games. Money. Fancy cars. Swilling a double espresso with your neighbor, the railroad tycoon or hollywood prettyboy who owns all the houses across the street.

The life.

-Alex

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