2004-04-21 - 3:24 PM

I've got this thing. It's not quite a crush, it's sort of a fetus of a crush, at this point, barely a zygote. But she's really cool, and works at Starbucks, and looks incredible when she dresses all retro, and likes cartoons. With all this combined, I don't know how long before the little bastard starts coming to term.

She's a recent addition to a little social circle, which means either way I'm going to be seeing a lot of her in months to come, giving me one of two options. Keep it let it grow, or abort?

The rub is that crushes are totally unlike babies, in terms of which of those choices a person is more likely to make. Which is to say, a conservative is all about saving the kid, wheras the more leftist and liberal tend to want the would-be mother to have the right to abort. With a crush, though, the more liberal is like "Keep the sucker, let it happen" whereas one's more conservative side is saying "Kill it where it stands and move on."

Swirling in the background, I'm pretty sure Eddie's sister is secretly convinced I like her. So she's being dumb and awkward and subtly commenting and watching my reactions. And it's kind of funny. There's this girl in one of my CS classes who I go for noodles and crabpuffs with after long coding nights, and she has wide intense eyes and a cute smile, and I think she likes me, but there's just nothing there.

At some point I realized my life had become this fascinating "Saved By The Bell" episode with me at the center and 3 girls rotating around me, and it all somehow involves me not gettin' any.

Only I could pull this off.

I'm convinced of it.

I have an essay due tomorrow, two labs due friday, a program sunday, and a semester project due in 7 days, 8 hours and 25 minutes. It's one of those weeks that makes me think, it could all be easier if I took up smoking again. Quit over the summer. I don't need this crap. It's all piling in around me, I can feel it, I can see it, days from now I'm going to have a dream where I show up to a final in the wrong class, or I flunk out of college, or I'm alone in a room and I'm frozen by something I can't control, paralyzed, terrified, and softly through the walls I can hear the sound of malicious laughter, or I'm running from something and my legs suddenly start feeling like they're made of Jello.

The end of the semester sucks ass.

ASS.

-Alex

UPDATE: Breast-stroke of midnight: The stream of profanity that properly represents my current attitude towards the backwater bullshit niche for the stoners of academia known as philosophy would make a pornstar blush. Just so you know.

|

Slide back | Stumble forward