2004-05-08 - 10:39 AM

I'd never been to a Halo party before.

Obviously, becasue I spent from 7:30 until 1:30 in the morning gaming, munching, slamming caffeine, and learning everybody's name by their gaming handle ("Hey S1nglet0n, what's your name?" "Mike..."), it would be ridiculous to attempt to tell the complete story of the evening. Let me explain. No, there is too much. let me sum up.

4 X-boxes, networked together. 16 player Halo. One kid brought a digital projector. For about 2 hours I got a shift playing Halo on a shower curtain hung in front of a living room wall. It was so sexy I can't even begin to describe it. It being my third time playing Halo EVER, I royally got my ass handed to me on an impressively regular basis. But it was still such... such a blast. I met Clara's desert twin, a girl named Laura who explained how 'Merp' meant "Yes" and 'Thump' meant no, and made sound effects when one poked her nose (I didn't convince her to or anything, she just SHOWED me).. I drank about 1 dew per hour, made tons of pizza rolls. The cluster consisted of about 30 guys and 4 girls. Laura the clara-clone , Joyce (dead ringer for E), an Amanda-lookalike who gave good backrubs, and some other girl who looked curiously like one of Eddie's Ex's, Jen. EVERY ONE OF THEM LOOKED LIKE SOMEONE ELSE. It was either the Dew talking, or there's only so much DNA available for female geeks.

For the first several hours I was in a back room with Eddie, one of the Andrews, and this guy who used to TA in one of my classes. These mild, gentle people who won't raise their voice to a normal speaking level in public, man... you put a controller in their hands, and suddenly their rage-a-holics. Quoth the gentle giant, "Goddamn Fucking FUCK! Fucking Daniel's fucking spawn-camping from the ridge. Someone fucking kill him! FUCKK!"

Most belligerent bunch of geeks I'd ever seen in my life. At some point in that back room, I noticed that our tv stand was white and box like. And then it hit me. Oh my god, I'm playing Halo in somebody's laundry room... This is sooo awesome.

Andrew #1, being a masseuse, has this massage chair, the kind with the head-donut, the knee rests,and the chest-cushion thing, so you lean your whole body forward and tuck your legs under you and you're suspended in mid-air on soft cushioning. Two important things about this. One: All he has to do is press his hand into your back on this thing and it's sweeter than sweet beefresh honey.

Two. And this is where it gets important. you're comfortable and well supported leaning forward. Your back, your legs, won't get sore spending hours leaning forward. Slide out the head donut (or use it as a chin rest, your call) and it's the BEST GAMING CHAIR EVER.

EVER.

It's a fabulous dynamic, being around 40 introverts in a house that's so cramped one would assume it's a kegger. The thing is that everybody's the kind of person with somewhat fragile personal bubbles, so the group dynamic that eventually surfaces is so smooth and comfortable, it all just kind of works. I mean, think about it. 7:30 to 1:30. I spend 6 hours in a house positively saturated by people. And I came out without any huge urge to spend a day alone to recover. At all. In fact, I kinda felt like doing it again.

-Alex

Incidentally... Quote of the night: "Fuck the warthog!" Ah... good times. I wonder if I'll get a google hit for that.

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