Things are starting to taste like struggle, for reasons that don't quite add up to struggle. It's my attitude, not my situation. Somewhere in the back of my head, Mom's telling me that if I was choosing to have a good time...
Part of it is the homework due and midterm to take tomorrow. The midterm isn't for an... intellectually challenging... course, but thorough mental conditioning has caused the very looming presence of such an event to leave me with a certain sense of defeat, before the test has even been taken.There are, however, bright spots. Jenny's soft and warm and nice to wake up next to, even if it's always too damn early in the morning, and I feel like there's always a smile waiting for me with her. I'm travelling with two of my roommates in a week and a half. We're not, however, sure where we're going. Vegas or Santa Barbara, most likely. These things will work themselves out.
Today a Columbia House trial subscription came through with my cheap schwag. DVD's of the order of: Office Space, Last Samurai, Willy Wonka, and Love Actually. Harold and Maude is on it's way. The people I live with, we possess an incredible sort of collective flow, that manifests itself every time one casually burns the other, or Nikki walks by and pops a lollipop out of my mouth while I'm talking with someone else, sucks on it for a while, pops it back in next time she passes me by. When they sit on my bed to watch whatever movie I'm watching, when we trade vehicles and go on food runs, sit on the porch and smoke cigarettes and do the crossword puzzle, it's like the house reverberates groove that we've all managed to tap, and man, it's really nice to live like that. All I want is to start adding rooms to the back of the house and start convincing people, everyone I love and one by one, to move in and join in our happyhappyjoyjoy utterly geeked out little sense of flow.Hey, check that out. I had a happy thought.-Alex
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